When facing someone with Oniomania, also known as Compulsive Buying Disorder, the important thing to remember is that they try to hide it the best they can, and in doing so destroys their relationships with others. It remains a fact this compulsion is not seen as an issue by all psychologists as is a disorder that is not yet recognised in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, also known as the DSM. You may not believe it to be a issue, but it is considered an addiction that needs to be dealt with.
Compulsive Shoppers Mind
As the word implies, shopaholics’ only have shopping in their minds. However, it isn’t because you like using money on things you don’t need, but because it has become a form of release of your inner emotions.
A psychologist named, Hindie Klein, published an article about the minds of Compulsive Shoppers and discovered that addiction to shopping hides other mental health issues that need to be treated and taken care of. Such mental issues include depression and anxiety. In order to cure a person of shopping addiction, they must first treat the hidden aspects of their addiction, in some cases; it may be depression and anxiety. Shopping is said to give them a sense of release of tension and gratification. Shoppers with compulsive disorder release endorphins, giving them an adrenaline rush each time they shop. However, it is followed by feelings of shame, disappointment and guilt. When it becomes worse, they often end up in a black hole with mental, financial, emotional, marital and familial distress.
Development at an Early Age
Klein also explained that through her research she found out that shopaholic tendencies often presents itself in early childhood. It is often seen in children that grow up feeling empty and alone because they lacking a proper parent-child relationship. They oddly often feel neglected and lack self-esteem and confidence in themselves. They seek to fill that void by playing with toys or food but as they grow up, they find other “objects” such as, food, drugs, sex to substitute their feelings of emptiness. As adults, they often lack a sense of peace and security that comes from being oneself. She clearly states that:
They may become impulsive, compulsive, controlling, or very needy of affection and “things” to make them feel sated and relaxed.”
Shop till you Drop
Another psychologist named, Daniela Intili, published an article about research on people dealing with compulsive shopping. For her, it was often due to low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, loneliness or anger. Addicts way of fixing it is what she called retail therapy, in other words “Pick me up”. It’s a never ending cycle of buying substitutes for their emotional void. However, it’s only a temporary fix, which emotionally leads them back to square one, but in dept. Which then triggers another compulsion to shop for release. A NEVER ENDING CYCLE.
Intili compared it to intensive shopping experience during the festive times of the year, such as Birthdays, Sales or Holidays. However, instead of it being just an occasional hobby, it’s an all year round event. Instead of just having an emotional peak it causes emotional havoc for the shoppers, leading to broken relationships and financial ruin.
Intili was able to differentiate 3 types of Spenders and not all of them are compulsive shoppers:
Poor Money Management
Over spending, over committing or deferring payments giving shoppers significant financial trouble
Material Possession Seeker
Wanting to belong in a certain status, often higher then that in which they belong, by buying new clothes or gadgets.
Psychological Feelings of Depression
Dealing with depression, low self-esteem or inadequacy by buying things that they don’t need.
If you had three friends, each presenting one of these cases, which one do you think is the one with compulsive buying disorder?
The Answer is … Psychological Feelings of Depression.
Watch out for those around You
Being careful has never hurt anyone. If you think someone around you is addicted, simply ask them about their shopping habits, or just talk to them. they have a tendency to hide their addiction and so need help from those close to them. Some psychologists believe that just by the help of those around them, they can get better, but it all starts with acknowledging that it is a problem to your relationship and that they cannot easily control it.
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