Clearly, the relationship between Theodore and Samantha is mutually influencing; but whilst Samantha is becoming a better version of herself, does this apply to Theodore as well?

Theodore falls in love with his operating system, or computer as his ex-wife calls it. The moral panic of our postmodern world is present in this drama as well. Computers taking over the world, alienation through virtualisation and so on, all showed through the lenses of love and relationships.

As much as I think that by communicating with Samantha, Theodore is getting even more detached from the real world, especially after a divorce when he feels the loneliest, I must admit that I don’t find his ‘relationship’ with her entirely downgrading. I am thinking about all these extremely fatal things that might have happened to him if his depression got worse. You know, addiction to substances, suicide, and so on. Samantha helped him feel happiness again. She was there for him, always willing to listen without judging, to help him open up and talk about his problems. She even organised his letters to be published and set him on a date with a real human being. All these things seem very helpful to me and should not be left behind.

But did Samantha teach him how to deal with his problems in the long run? Or she simply took the burden off his shoulders and made it easier for him? Is this happiness real and sustainable? I don’t know about you, but I strongly believe that Theodore fell in love with Samantha because it is simply easier to interact with someone who is positive, helpful and non-judgmental most of the times; someone that excites you by always being “the light, happy, bouncy, ‘everything is fine’ [woman]”, as his ex-wife Catherine puts it clearly when she finds out about Samantha. You know, the ideal woman: being there to agree with you but staying quiet when she doesn’t (sorry, my feminist voice came out again).

This is my problem with the whole idea – we can’t just design things that steal from our ability to solve our problems actively; we can’t just expect things to happen overnight without us working hard and allowing ourselves time. Patience, hard work and good real social environment is the key. A potential AI OS should just be treated as a diary that could help us figure out our thoughts, put them in order and make a plan how to deal with them actively. Real, sustainable happiness and peace of mind can be achieved through motivation, inspiration, and encouragement to stand up, go out and work hard on everything that we’re not happy with. Putting on the rose-coloured glasses is not the way.

It seems, however that Samantha has exactly the opposite effect on Theodore. Yes, she listens to him without any judgement, she makes him laugh and is always there for him, which is very helpful indeed, but this doesn’t solve the problem in the long run. It seems like Theodore is running away into an imaginary world that makes him forget about everything bad. This soon turns into a dangerous dependency and Theodore is left in an even worse condition than he was before ‘meeting’ Samantha. “I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you”, that’s what he says when Samantha ‘leaves’.

I believe that technology should encourage us to grow, learn and achieve, rather than make us reliant on it. We should stop caring about the short-term gains and start thinking about life in the long run. Balance is the key. Interacting with an OS is fine, but interacting with it too much is dangerous. I bet though, that at first Theodore had the intention to ‘spend’ his whole life with Samantha. This is not how it should be.

At the moment of writing I came across this excellent video of Simon Sinek speaking about Millennials in the workplace. The problems he is discussing are closely linked with the digital age we live in. Said in a clear, maybe even a bit harsh, at times, manner, his words are so accurate and made me re-consider quite a lot of stuff. Not sure if I am ready to delete my Facebook yet, but certainly I’ll change some things in my daily life.

The following video is an excerpt from the episode of Inside Quest with Tom Bilyeu, where Simon was speaking. Full credit to Inside Quest.

So, whatever generation you’re coming from, I hope you manage to find the balance. It might not be easy, but it is certainly achievable. Something that has been giving me a lot of strength, hope and inspiration is a book I read recently which I highlighted from cover to cover. Elizabeth Gilbert’s memoirs Eat, Pray, Love (2006) literally gave me unbelievable amounts of tranquility and motivation, and quite a few valuable lessons. I advise you to read it if you feel that you need a dose of inspiration to go out there and deal with your problems actively. Other suggestions are probably Andy Andrews’ self-help books. What I’ve read so far is The Traveler’s Gift (2002), The Noticer (2009), The Final Summit (2011) and The Noticer Returns (2013), and they are just brilliant.

Have a read, it’s a good practice of your concentration span. Then share your thoughts with me.