So with it being the festive time of year, I decided I was going to release a series of blog posts named the 12 days of Tindmas. Basically, 12 things I hate about Tinder and other online dating sites! Let’s kick this off with Match.com’s rules and regulations for online dating.
With online dating being such a minefield for error, the online dating site Match.com kindly published 20 unwritten rules of online dating in order to help everyone to have a wonderful experience. However, a few of these ‘unwritten rules’ expose some pretty ugly truths about online dating. Call me a pessimist, but this is what I see when I look at a few of these so called ‘rules and regulations’.
1. Modesty is a Turn off.
2. … And so is bragging.
These rules are quick to highlight a troublesome issue with online dating. Everything seems to be constantly in the middle, don’t be too eccentric or people will think you’re weird but don’t be boring, cos who likes a bore?! This is because rather than appealing to one person who may find arrogance attractive or modesty endearing, you’re trying to appeal to a mass of people. The only way to do this is to constantly sit your personality on the fence. This article is basically telling it’s users to be themselves, but in a set of strict confines. So really, that isn’t truly being yourself is it? This is a prime example of how contradictory and confusing online dating can be.
4. Never admit your friend wrote your profile.
To me, this ‘rule’ means ‘lie’. Essentially, this rule is saying that you can get a friend to write your bio, just don’t admit it.
5. Zip up your baggage!
Apparently human life experiences are totally unsexy! Online daters much prefer emotionless shells of people, masking their issues rather than human beings who have experienced highs and lows of life. Surely honesty is the best policy? That way you don’t have to go through the pain of a first date, not knowing what you’re going into, possibly have a rubbish time and then have to go BACK to online dating, for the same thing to possibly happen again. If online dating really is time-saving for people who don’t have the time to go out and meet people, can we cut the crap? It’s not time saving if you have to go on 100+ dates to find someone you like.
7. No photo? No chance.
The problem here, isn’t that you need a photo for online dating. It’s totally understandable that you would need a photo up on a dating site or app as appearance is important to a lot of people dating. but even Match compares a dating profile to an advert. As if you’re actually selling yourself to the other users. When did it become so necessary to advertise yourself as a glistening, perfect form of human in order to sell yourself to people? Online dating has this brilliant way of taking the humanity out of dating. You’re an ad, on a site. With no more personality than an old bike for sale in the local paper.
9. Don’t lie with the camera.
Again, you ‘need’ a photo in order to advertise yourself, but don’t be too flattering! Or else your date will be hugely disappointed with the real you if you ever meet up in person! Way to boost your users self-esteem, Match.com.
11. Don’t fall in lust with a photo.
Because again, you might be bitterly disappointed when the hunk of a man or sexy lady you’re speaking to ends up having actual human flaws that can’t be blended away with a tool on Photoshop.
13. Playing hard to get doesn’t work.
I don’t believe ‘playing hard to get’ is a successful method in any dating situation. However, Match go on to say: “They’ll find someone else to date. Time moves fast in online dating.” Online dating is so confusing because people do just ‘find someone else to date’. There’s so much choice, why would someone invest time in creating a meaningful bond when you’re bombarded with so many easier, fast options?
16. Don’t expect too much from a first date.
This displays online dating in a nutshell. First dates are meant to be an exciting time, but in the world of online dating, this doesn’t seem to be the case. This is probably the result of meeting with a complete stranger, after as little as a week of speaking to them, with only a few photo’s to judge appearance. This can make the experience nerve-wracking and awkward. Also, the first date you go on probably isn’t gunna be great most likely because you literally have to sift through SO MUCH trash to find the gold with online dating.
17. It may take many dates to find someone you like.
“Time moves fast in online dating.” Quick match, quick date, quick disappointment and repeat this depressing cycle until someone you actually like surfaces.
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