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The end.

January 22, 2017 by charlotteslaney Leave a Comment

Technology like no other.

This blog post is the last of the written ones I will be posing on this site as the new blog post will be in the form of a video, so keep your eyes peeled for that one!

Just like any relationship, long distance ones have issues and problems too. In fact, if anything they are more likely to have problems because of the distance between partners. However long distance relationships get a lot of stick. Were told if we’re long distance that our relationship isn’t going to last and that people are surprised we made it this far anyway. Which if I’m honest its true, they are so so hard when your apart but when you’re together it’s like nothings different you’re just a regular couple.

Technology is a big part of long distance relationships something that without which could render some almost impossible. Some couples even meet online before they start their relationship and if it hadn’t of been for technology and the internet these people probably never would have met. For example, Youtuber couple Jess and Gabriel Conte met on Instagram before getting in to a long-distance relationship. Jess was living in Australia before she met Gabriel who was living in America they met online and had been in a long-distance relationship ever since. They recently tied the knot in December 2016 and moved in together in Gab’s apartment in LA proving long distance relationships do work.

I created this blog in hopes to attract people in long distance relationships and help them out. I wanted them to see that other people are going through what they’re going through as well. I hope that whoever’s reading this has taken something from it and that it helps you out in some way. I’m going to leave you with this, long-distance relationships do work and technology has improved the way they work in so many ways. The thing you have to remember with long distance is that as long as you have an ending to the distance, as long as you can see a way for the distance to end you can get through anything.

Char ♥

Some tips for dealing with arguments in long distance relationships.

January 19, 2017 by charlotteslaney 104 Comments

Everyone argues…

This blog post is all about the joys of arguments and dealing with them whilst in long distance relationships. Every couple in the world has arguments big or small we all go through them. The difficultly with being long distance and having arguments is how to carry them out. Do you save up all your frustrations and talk them out when you’re together (potentially ruining the only time you’ve seen each other in weeks), or do you carry out these arguments online through the phone and social media. I’ve always been a believer that you shouldn’t air your dirty laundry in public for all to see, not only does no one else really care but it’s also not healthy. Having said that when we’re young and angry we make mistakes and sometimes you can’t help but send that petty indirect tweet just to get it off your chest. I’m not going to make out that I’m the best at dealing with arguments because side note I’m not that great but in this post, I’m going to attempt to help you with some tips on having arguments in long distance relationships.

The tips:

Don’t bottle it up.
It’s important in long distance relationships to communicate and if one of you has a problem or an issue the worst possible thing to do is to hold on to those feelings and emotions until you see each other next. Although it’s easier to talk things through face to face it can cause so many problems for long distance you don’t want to spend the short time you have together arguing about things. Instead however hard it might be you need to communicate. I do suggest phoning or facetiming rather than texting because text messages can be taken in different ways to what the other person means, at least when you’re on the phone you can hear their tone of voice or see their face on facetime.
Wait before kicking off.
This is an important one. When you’re upset or angry about something in long distance relationships you need to have self-restraint. Going into an argument with anyone full guns blazing is never going to work whether you’re in the same city or not. Before sending that angry message or starting an argument just take ten minutes to calm down and think about it, ask yourself is this worth an argument is it something small that probably won’t matter tomorrow. By all means write out the text message and read it back to yourself do you actually think this is a big deal or are you making it a big deal? This just helps you focus on the bigger picture and more important things.
Don’t get petty.
I know how tempting it is to write a petty text or tweet and we’re all guilty of it (especially me) but trust it’s not worth it. Half the time your significant other won’t even see it and you’ll just end up looking silly. I know it can be an easy way to vent your feelings without starting an argument with someone but write it down in a book instead, it has the same affect with less hassle.
Don’t air your arguments out on social media.
This one goes along with the one above quite nicely. Although being long distance means you have less opportunity to talk face to face about things that are upsetting you or annoying you, your business has nothing to do with anyone else. So don’t post about it!
Give each other space.
Finally it’s important to let each other breath when having an argument. Giving one another spaces allows for you to sit down and re-evaluate the situation. It can save the argument being worst if you let each other have time.

I hope these helped a little and that you enjoyed a slightly different blog post from me than normal.
Char. ♥

A world full of wonderfully weird relationship apps.

January 10, 2017 by charlotteslaney Leave a Comment

Hi again…

Having previously discussed the history of technology and long distance relationships this blog post is focusing on the issue of being able to constantly be in contract with your other half miles away because of the many relationship apps available and how often you should talk on them.

With every relationship being different and having different circumstances it’s had to draw a line where you can over all say this amount of time talking is healthy or unhealthy. For those lucky enough to live and work in the same towns and cities talking everyday may seem bizarre or too much but for couple’s long distance it’s sort of second nature. Talking to your partner long distance becomes part of your daily routine which without could make the relationship near enough impossible. As you can see in this article and from personal experience I’m sure you can understand that everyone needs time on their own and with friends and family thus creating the how question how often do we talk? How long do we talk for? What devices do we use to connect with? We all need space and time away from our partners and being long distance is no different.

Relationship Apps

I touched briefly in my last blog post on the many weird and wonderful apps available for phones in this technological age that are essential for long distance relationships. The plus side to this is we can not only talk on the phone to our significant others but send texts, pictures, videos pretty much anything you can think of. There’s the obvious apps like facetime and snapchat that connect lovers from miles apart and the not so obvious (most of which I hadn’t even heard of until researching). This technology is great as it bridges the gap between seeing your other half but when do we draw the line, when does being in contact with someone far away become too much. With being able to link your calendars together to know what both of you are up to in the week and being able to check your lovers exact location on find friends at what stage does it go from being sweet and innocence to kind of stalkerish.

Kissenger

Some of the apps used aren’t only stalkerish but a little weird. Half of me can’t believe I hadn’t looked into these kind of apps before. I mean I’ve been long distance with my boyfriend pretty much a year on and off. I’m not sure how many I’d actually use but from the ones I’ve seen the clingiest by far would probably be an app called kissenger. In essence it sounds kind of sweet? I guess. It’s an app with a device that attaches to your phone for when you want to kiss your boyfriend or girlfriend electronically miles away. Anyway the idea is you plug this device into your phone and kiss the silicone pad whilst your partner also presses their lips against their silicone pad plug in too. See what I mean when I said how far is too far. I mean it’s a great idea that you can essentially kiss your partner through the phone something we’ve all been wondering how to do since 2008 when Soulja Boy Tell’em started rapping about it. But I’m pretty sure this is an example of how technology has gone too far for long distance couples although you never know in a couple of years this could be the new cutting edge technology.

Down to you.

To keep relationships balanced there has to be a cut off point for talking or seeing each other constantly but long distance relationships aren’t easy and there’s a lot more effort and time required on them then normal ones. You can’t just walk to your boyfriend or girlfriends house to see them and spend time together. The only option we have is to video chat or call and once you get into the swing of things the routine of talking and seeing each other develops. We find the right amount for all of us and that’s probably the most important thing to take away from this, that as long as it suits the both of you and you aren’t constantly connected you should be just fine.

Char. ♥

A short history on long distance relationships.

September 23, 2016 by charlotteslaney Leave a Comment

Welcome to my blog.

I’m an awkward person in real life so this introduction is probably going to be as awkward written down as it would be if we were talking in person therefore I’ll make it short and sweet. Hi, I’m Charlotte and this is my first blog post on my site looking into long distance relationships and technology. I hope you enjoy reading and can maybe take something from what I have to say. So here it is, a small history on how people connected to their partners and how they still do whilst in long distance relationships and how technologies changed.

Long distance love.

From only ever being capable of sending your other half miles away a love letter, to being able to constantly talk to them day in day out no matter what time, it’s fair to say technology has made a lot of long distance relationships possible. The ease of being able to communicate with your boyfriend or girlfriend long distance is a lot different compared to even when our parents were younger. I’m no stranger to the pain of being long distance with two long distance relationships under my belt. Admittingly my first failed due to the distance but I’m currently facing the everyday challenges a modern day long distance relationship endures whilst in my second year at university.

I can’t imagine being in a world where I’m not able to pick up my phone and call my boyfriend when I need to or just want too, but this was not the case for many long distance couples back in the day. Obviously long distance relationships have been around since forever, so it’s hard to narrow down when the first one began and what they used to contact each other. For the purpose of this blog post I’m focusing on before we had phones and how technology progressed since then. Prior to telephones being invented the only way to contact people who lived far from you was through letters. An art form that you could argue has died since the invention of technology today. I assume a very romantic pastime for those who received them from loved ones (I wouldn’t know my boyfriends never sent me one *cough *cough). I imagine it would have been a lot more exciting receiving a love letter after days or weeks of not talking to each other. My only thought with this is that it was probably a lot harder to keep up to date with each other and connect.

Dear John.

The famous Nicholas Sparks novel Dear John which was later turned into a movie played out the stages of a long distance relationship between John and Savannah whilst he served in the army. Although there’s mention of email we never see an exchange between the two, we’re only shown the letters and reading them. The film plays out the eventual breakup of the two through a sort of twisted irony of a love letter. Back when couples were separated by the war the only contact they had with each other was through letters, an almost impossible idea to comprehend for us in the technological age.

Technology now.

Once phones were invented staying connected got a little bit easier. Now you could hear your partner’s voice when you weren’t together. Although my mum tells me it wasn’t all that great because if you wanted a private phone call you’d have to shout down the road for others to get off the line. After this mobile phones and computers arrived which led to the technology we have today, Facetime, imessage, Snapchat you name it its available to us. The growth of technology we can now use to stay in contact and connect with each other is crazy. We have this ability to constantly stay together with each other.

Love in the technological age.

So I’ll leave you with this, imagine being in a long distance relationship before technology was invented. It just goes to show how much technology has changed and how we rely on it to connect us to loved ones far away.

See you soon,
Char. ♥

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