”I have a boyfriend, leave me alone” -Why this phrase has no meaning anymore.

As a nineteen year old female, I have received my fair share of unwanted attention from guys (No I am not bragging I assure you). And I’m sure you will know now, I am a loud and proud feminist but that doesn’t mean I’m capable of telling guys ‘No’ when they hit on me in a club. As easy as it may sound, that two letter word is hard to say.

I’ve been in a relationship for two years so I’ve never been to a club single and yet the only time I am ever guaranteed (and even then, there have been a couple of incidents where I have been touched by someone when my boyfriend is only two feet away) no one will hit on me or touch me is when my boyfriend is physically there . It generally seems to be that unless he is there with his arms around me, I am seen as a single girl who would love to be grabbed unwillingly. I have said to guys that I have a boyfriend so please could they leave me alone and yet they are persistent.

Is the music too loud to hear what i’m saying properly? Is it too dark to see that I’m pushing them away? No. It’s just that the phrase ‘I have a boyfriend’ has no meaning anymore.

Hi, I don’t have a boyfriend, I just don’t want to speak to you.

Initially, girls used the phrase ‘I have a boyfriend’ even when they didn’t because that’s all that some guys listen to… Like some unspoken guy code of respect?? But because that phrase is used so much, guys are no longer believing it and therefore carrying on. So what’s changed?

Twitter is what’s changed.

If you go on to twitter right now and type in ‘I have a boyfriend’ you will see thousands of tweets and memes just like this…

Now this phrase has become a joke, memes are spread across the internet leaving girls with no ‘valid’ excuse or reason for the their lack of interest in the person hitting on them. Are men (obviously not all) aware that people wouldn’t have started using this phrase so much, had the simple word ‘no’ been accepted.

It’s obviously not just Twitter at fault over this but I do believe it is one of the main culprits. Social media has told boys that no doesn’t always mean no. When boys are younger, they are taught to respect and look after their sisters. They are told they have to hold the door open for girls, they are told that they should be sweeping her off her feet and do romantic gestures for her not vice versa and yet Films and Tv programmes now tell boys that persistency is the key. Oh, the girl you fancy doesn’t like you back? Just keep trying, you’ll wear her down. It’s the storyline of so many films, the romantic ending of the girl finally giving in. Why isn’t the initial word no not good enough?

And now this phrase that saved so many of us from unwanted attention has become a joke. But in honesty I get angry when I say it. I shouldn’t need a reason for saying no, I just said no. I have never been rude (unless my initial ‘no’ has not been accepted) I have always tried to be polite as all they are doing is looking for  a girl, but a simple no means no.

After reading back on what I’ve written, I’ve realised that I’ve put being ‘hit on’ and being grabbed in a club in the same group. I’ve become so used to these actions, I said them so casually and yet it is so unacceptable.

So can all girls tell the truth and just say no and can guys just accept it? I doubt it but let’s at least try.